SOCIAL MEDIA
16 ASIAN TRADER 19 SEPTEMBER 2025
“Things will only officially be bad when
there are security tags on Freddos.”
Napoleon (@moanaparte)
“‘72-hour antiperspirant protection’ is
the biggest lie ever told.”
Napoleon (@moanaparte)
“In our history, whenever excise duties
have been unreasonably high, the result
has been crime, including smuggling. At
present the duty on a pack of cigarettes is
£8.93. Reduce it to solve the problem.”
Peter Sewell (@portly_pete)
“In 2016 I worked as a Deliveroo rider &
earned the equivalent of £11.20 an hour
– 55% more than min wage of £7.20. In 2024 I
worked as a Deliveroo rider and earned £5.28
– 54% less than min wage of £11.44. Insecure
work has become more precarious …”
Harry Wallop (@hwallop)
“Used the wife’s deodorant because
mine’s run out. I don’t understand this.
We’re made from the same stuff (human),
yet while she smells lovely wearing it, I smell
like a boiled sweet stuck to an old carpet.”
Napoleon (@moanaparte)
“The smoking rate in the EU is twice
what it is in the UK and has barely fallen
in the last decade. It nevertheless thinks it
can create a ‘nicotine-free generation’ by
2040 and is lying about the risks of safer
nicotine products. What a clown show!”
Christopher Snowdon @cjsnowdon)
“Papers today jammed with stories
showing the beginning of the end of the
age of entitlement. And the return of a focus
on needs over wants.”
Merryn Somerset Webb @MerrynSW)
“Seen about 5 new domestic robots
launch in last 3 weeks. All designed to do
laundry or fold laundry. Silicon Valley is
entirely the domain of people who wish they
still lived with their mum. Uber – Mom drive
me around. Uber Eats – Mom, cook for me.
TaskRabbit – Mom please clean.”
Tom Goodwin (@tomfgoodwin)
“Okay so that Miles Davis quote “if you
hit a wrong note, it’s the next note you
play that determines if it’s good or bad”
applies to basically everything.”
Dylan O’Sullivan (@DylanoA4)
“Whenever I’m visiting someone who
has a smart speaker, I like to set random
reminders or alarms for months in advance.
My latest one will happen in 3 months telling
my sister to clean out the rabbit hutch. She
doesn’t own a rabbit.”
Fesshole (@fesshole)
“I just rang the Speaking Clock. What a
nice voice it’s got at the moment! I was
so glad to find it’s still there. Like going to
your grandparents’ old house from childhood
and finding they’re actually at home.”
Victoria Coren Mitchell (@VictoriaCoren)
“Man living alone here. Just burped
quite loud and my google assistant was
activated. I’m now reconsidering my life
choices.”
Fesshole (@fesshole)
“I do care about the environment but
I’m not mad on scratching my eyeball
with the bottle top now attached to my water
bottle.”
Wendy Wason (@Wendy_Wason)
“We have a dumb joke when we go out
for dinner as a family when they say ‘any
allergies’ and the youngest always says ‘cats’
and we all chuckle and so does the waiter.
Today he said it, the waiter looked confused
and said ‘we don’t cook cats’”.
Wendy Wason (@Wendy_Wason)
“Reforming the state is difficult whereas
passing legislation to restrict people’s
freedoms is easy.”
Luke Johnson (@LukeJohnsonRCP)
“‘You don’t have a right to inherit money
from mummy and daddy that you did
nothing to earn.’ @Lewis_Goodall suggests
hiking inheritance tax to 100% in order to
reduce income tax and ‘incentivise work.’”
LBC (@LBC)
“Remember when picking up “a few
bits” at the supermarket didn’t cost £54?”
VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish)
“How can the Deputy Governor of the
Bank of England be ‘surprised’ by
inflation? It has literally been this govern
ment’s explicit policy to pile so much more
cost onto businesses that they have no choice
but to increase prices ...”
Kien Tan (@kientan74)
“‘It is almost certain that Rachel Reeves
will extend the freeze on personal tax
thresholds in the autumn budget, which
would hurt working people by taking more
money out of their payslips.’”
Institute of Economic Affairs (@iealon
don)
“Private equity [PE] curse. UK supermar
kets Asda and Morrisons crushed by debt
anvil. Asset-stripping to pay for debt and private
equity profits. Staff cuts, low investment,
market share struggles. PE has devoured high
street, care homes, vets, healthcare.”
Prem Sikka (@premnsikka)
“Ai is leading to a lot of people accepting
low standards. Make it stop. If some
thing is worth doing. Do it well.”
Tom Goodwin (@tomfgoodwin)
“‘Ooh, something smells good, what are
you cooking?!’ It’s always just an onion.”
VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish)
“First sighting of SPooOooOooKY stuff
in the supermarket. That’s it, folks,
summer’s over. It’s Halloween now, which
means it’s Christmas now.”
VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish)
“‘Hello. How much are your hotel
rooms?’ ‘Who are you?’ ‘The council.’
‘Two grand a night.’”
Napoleon (@moanaparte)
“Who is Molly May and why should I
take her recommendations on which
fabric softener to use?”
Baron MVT (@VonTrippenhoff)
Asian Trader has rounded up some comments from
our Twitter feed to give a vivid picture of retailers
and friends under inflationary conditions …
X: The World According
to “Not” Twitter
@NoContextBrits