SOCIAL MEDIA
46 ASIAN TRADER 17 OCTOBER 2025
“Retailers are now sick and tired of
calling the police because it takes up
even more time to report the incident, go
through the statement process, capture
CCTV, knowing full well that there’s no
outcome for them.”
The Fed (@TheFed_Online)
“Kids and husband were stressing me
out so I told them I was off to an
induction day for some voluntary work I was
interested in. Actually got on a train to the
seaside. Had fish and chips, spent a tenner in
an arcade and ate ice cream on the beach.”
Fesshole (@fesshole)
“My proudest achievement when I
worked in packaging was getting the
manufacturers and the supermarkets to go
along with my suggestion that the bit you
peeled to open, say, ten slices of plastic ham
was situated on the opposite side of the
packet to the bit that says ‘PEEL HERE’.”
Napoleon (@moanaparte)
“80 years later the three trams that
survived the atomic bombing in
Hiroshima are still running in service.”
Wrath Of Gnon (@wrathofgnon)
“Saw a bloke on the tube at 7.30am peel
the cover off a Sainsbury’s trifle. People
were watching, interested to see how he’d
approach it.”
Phil Haigh (@philhaigh_)
“Danish grocery stores risk losing up to
DKK 1.2 billion (€130 million) in
revenue due to increased use of weight loss
medication in the country, a new report ... has
revealed.”
European Supermarket Magazine (@
esm_magazine)
“Drinks Ireland has welcomed the
deferral of labelling requirements,
which will see health warnings included on
alcoholic drinks. The government delayed the
change – due to come in May 2026 – on
account of tariffs and trade uncertainty
facing the sector.”
Checkout Magazine (@CheckoutIreland)
“Mothers younger than 29 yrs old have
higher chance of having both boys and
girls, while mothers older than 29 yrs have
13% higher chance of having all boys or all
girls. Plan accordingly.”
David Sun (@arcticinstincts)
“Fertility rates in England and Wales
have been in overall decline since 2010,
but the decrease slowed in 2024 and
represents the lowest value on record for the
3rd year in a row. Total fertility rate (TFR)
decreased to 1.41 for England and Wales in
2024, from 1.42 in 2023.”
Office for National Statistics (@ONS)
“I’m of the opinion that you could solve
a lot of the country’s problems by
making a pint a pound, a packet of ciggies
£1.50 and fish ‘n’ chips under a fiver.”
Napoleon (@moanaparte)
“The worst people in the world are those
people at weddings who force you to get
up and have a dance against your will and
then criticise your dancing.”
VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish)
“The only thing Europe needs to do to
expand their GDP is install air condition
ing.”
Dr. Parik Patel, BA, CFA, ACCA Esq. (@
ParikPatelCFA)
“Bureaucracy makes Britain poor,
unproductive and miserable.”
Luke Johnson (@LukeJohnsonRCP)
“‘I stole all that steak and cheese from
Tesco Express because my autism told
me to and anyway I failed my bronze Duke of
Edinburgh and me mam bought me a blazer
that was too big for me when I was in the first
year saying I’d grow into it which is abuse
probably.’ ‘NOT GUILTY!’”
Napoleon (@moanaparte)
“First sighting of SPooOooOooKY stuff
in the supermarket. That’s it, folks,
summer’s over. It’s Halloween now, which
means it’s Christmas now.”
VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish)
“‘Hello. How much are your hotel
rooms?’ ‘Who are you?’ ‘The council.’
‘Two grand a night.’”
Napoleon (@moanaparte)
“‘3 min after contaminating a wooden
board 99.9% of bacteria had died, while
none of the bacteria died on plastic. Bacterial
numbers actually increased on plastic cutting
boards held overnight at room temp, but the
scientists could not recover any bacteria from
wooden boards.’ When I wrote about this in
2020 I got death threats from Americans.”
Wrath Of Gnon (@wrathofgnon)
“Taylor Swift announcing her engage
ment just as we were going to announce
the return of Spring Onion flavour. Clearly
trying to bury our news. Is she in the pockets
of Big Crisp?”
Seabrook Crisps (@SeabrookCrisps)
“If you think your week’s off to a rough
start, the lady in front of me at the Post
Office forgot to bring her parcel - which was
her only reason for visiting the Post Office
today.”
VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish)
“The most valuable personal finance
asset is not needing to impress anyone.”
Morgan Housel (@morganhousel)
“AI is leading to a lot of people accepting
low standards. Make it stop. If some
thing is worth doing. Do it well.”
Tom Goodwin (@tomfgoodwin)
“Despite vastly higher public spending,
public service productivity remains
lower than 5 years ago.”
Luke Johnson (@LukeJohnsonRCP)
“Adult British life is being tired because
you were up all night worrying the wind
would blow over the bins.”
VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish)
“Half bottle of champagne and a bowl of
strawberries for supper. Think I’m
turning into Barbara Cartland.”
George Smiley (@364690)
Asian Trader has rounded up some comments from
our Twitter feed to give a vivid picture of retailers
and friends under inflationary conditions …
X: The World According
to “Not” Twitter
@NoContextBrits
Best boat name ever